Navigating Dog Ownership During Autistic Burnout

Oct 31

Written by Lauren Tsao, MS, CDBC, CPDT-KA

For dog owners experiencing autistic burnout, caring for a dog can present unique challenges. Autistic burnout is a state of exhaustion and loss of function caused by the cumulative stress of masking, managing sensory overload, and navigating an often unaccommodating world. This can lead to pervasive fatigue and sensory sensitivity, making even the most basic responsibilities feel overwhelming. For those of us who are both dog lovers and neurodivergent, finding a way to balance the responsibilities of dog ownership with personal well-being can feel overwhelming.

As a professional dog trainer and dog behavior consultant with firsthand experience as an late-diagnosed autistic person, I understand both the benefits and the stress that dog care can add during burnout. Together we will explore the signs and impact of autistic burnout on dog ownership, along with ways to simplify care for your dog through low-energy mental stimulation activities.

What Is Autistic Burnout?

Autistic burnout can affect every part of life. Characterized by chronic exhaustion, reduced tolerance for sensory input, and a decreased ability to carry out daily tasks, burnout can make even small efforts seem monumental. Unlike typical burnout, autistic burnout often includes a loss of previously developed skills and functions, as well as heightened sensory sensitivities, making recovery more challenging.

The cause is often a “cumulative load” of social, sensory, and emotional demands without enough support. For many, this comes from long-term masking (suppressing autistic traits to appear neurotypical), coping with constant sensory input, and trying to meet the expectations of a non-autistic world. Burnout can be exacerbated by transitions, unexpected changes, or overwhelming life demands. It often feels like “running on empty,” with no energy left for even routine tasks, let alone additional responsibilities like pet care.

Impact of Autistic Burnout on Dog Ownership

Autistic burnout can have a significant impact on dog ownership, affecting multiple aspects of daily life with a pet. During burnout phases, both physical and mental capacities are stretched thin, and tasks that are normally manageable can become overwhelming. Let’s delve deeper into how autistic burnout uniquely impacts each area of dog care:

Physical and Emotional Exhaustion: Autistic burnout often leads to pervasive fatigue, which makes physically demanding tasks like walking, grooming, and training more challenging. This level of exhaustion can feel like there’s simply no energy reserve for additional activities, even those as routine as taking the dog outside. For a person experiencing burnout, the act of preparing for and executing daily walks might feel insurmountable. This lack of energy can lead to guilt, as dog owners may worry they’re not providing their pets with the care they deserve.
- Strategies to Cope: During these times, breaking up physical tasks into smaller, manageable actions can help. Instead of a long walk, consider a quick backyard or balcony play session or a few shorter walks spaced throughout the day. If your dog needs grooming, focus on one area each day, like brushing their coat on one day and trimming nails another. Exploring lower-energy alternatives can reduce physical demands on particularly low-energy days.
Sensory Overload: Burnout often heightens sensory sensitivities, which can make dog ownership particularly challenging, due to the unpredictability of a pet’s actions and sounds. The jingle of dog tags, smell of dog food, unexpected barking, or even the physical touch of a dog jumping up can become overwhelming. For someone dealing with sensory sensitivity, these interactions may trigger discomfort, stress, or even sensory overload.
- Strategies to Cope: Modifying the dog’s environment can help alleviate sensory stress. For instance, using no-jiggle dog tags, calming music, window films over windows to reduce barking, and low-stimulation toys (like non-squeaky toys or silent squeaky toys) can minimize sensory triggers. Giving the dog a designated space, such as a crate or cozy corner surrounded by an exercise pen, allows for reduced direct interactions when sensory overwhelm is high.
Difficulty with Routine Tasks and Reduced Executive Functioning: Executive function is our ability to plan, organize, and execute daily tasks. It is often impaired during burnout. This means that keeping track of routine responsibilities, such as feeding schedules, training sessions, and vet appointments, may feel nearly impossible. Even simple steps, like measuring out dog food or preparing a meal, can become taxing when mental energy is depleted.
- Strategies to Cope: Simplifying routines may be required. Automated feeders can help you stay consistent with feeding times and portion control without requiring manual effort every day. Water fountains are also helpful, as they keep water fresh and generally have a larger reserve than regular bowls. Keeping a visual checklist or setting reminders for dog-related tasks (e.g., in a mobile app) can support memory and planning.
Reduced Tolerance for Interruptions: Dogs are social creatures and naturally seek attention from their owners, often at unpredictable times. For those in burnout, these interruptions can heighten stress levels. Tasks like responding to a dog’s request to play, letting them outside, or dealing with sudden barking can feel disruptive, especially when personal energy is low. These repeated disruptions may lead to frustration or feelings of being “on edge,” as constant interaction demands pile on top of already limited mental capacity.
- Strategies to Cope: Setting boundaries around interaction is key. Designate a time or area where your dog can self-entertain, using enrichment toys or safe spaces, so you can enjoy uninterrupted moments. Lick mats, snuffle mats, and interactive toys can occupy your dog independently while allowing you to recharge. Keeping snuffle mats near your desk or bed with a hidden bag of treats can provide an quick outlet for your dog when you are busy or trying to rest.
Guilt and Emotional Toll: One of the more subtle, but significant impacts of autistic burnout on dog ownership is the emotional toll. Many autistic adults are highly sensitive to feelings of guilt and may perceive themselves as failing to meet their dog’s needs. This guilt can be compounded by social pressures or expectations of what a “good dog owner” should be able to handle. The gap between personal capacity during burnout and the ideal of a highly engaged, active pet owner can exacerbate feelings of inadequacy.
- Strategies to Cope: Practicing self-compassion is important. Remember that during burnout, minimizing stress and preserving energy helps both you and your dog in the long run. Accepting that it’s okay to seek help from friends, family, a dog trainer, or a pet sitter can alleviate some of the burden. Remind yourself that adjusting your expectations and routines isn’t a failure, but an act of responsible caregiving.
Social and Cognitive Strain of Training and Behavior Management: Training and behavior management can be cognitively demanding. During burnout, autistic individuals may find it hard to focus, remember cues, or maintain the consistency needed for effective training. Cognitive fatigue, combined with reduced tolerance for social interaction, can make it particularly difficult to engage with a dog’s needs with patience, focus, and verbal or non-verbal cues.
- Strategies to Cope: Rather than introducing new training skills, focus on reinforcing established skills with positive reinforcement. On tougher days, consider using enrichment activities (like snuffle mats or frozen Kongs) as substitutes for training sessions, which still offer mental engagement without requiring intensive instruction. Adding management like pet gates, crates, window films, basket muzzles, or exercise pens to prevent any new undesirable behaviors from popping up. Anything beyond the basics and management can be postponed until you’re ready to take on more.

Photo shows dogs laying on person in bed.

Keeping Your Dog Happy Without Exhausting Yourself

Maintaining a dog’s mental stimulation is key to keeping them calm and satisfied. Here are some enrichment activities that are simple to set up and don’t require too much effort, allowing your dog to stay engaged without draining your energy:

Lick Mats: Smearing a lick mat with dog-safe peanut butter, yogurt, or wet food can keep your dog entertained for an extended period. The act of licking is soothing for dogs and can help reduce stress.
Snuffle Mats: A snuffle mat allows your dog to forage for treats hidden within fabric folds, providing an outlet for natural sniffing and searching behaviors. This is particularly helpful for dogs with high energy or natural hunting instincts. Keeping snuffle mats near your desk or bed with a bag a treats can provide an quick outlet for your dog when you are busy or trying to rest.
Kongs and Food Puzzles: Fill a Kong toy or similar food puzzle with treats, peanut butter, or kibble, then freeze it for a longer-lasting activity. Food puzzles encourage problem-solving and keep your dog’s mind occupied.
Frozen Treats: Make frozen treats by combining dog-safe ingredients (like pumpkin puree and plain yogurt) in an large ice cube tray. These are best made ahead of burnout and kept in your freezer until needed.
Hide-and-Seek: If you have some energy or a helper, hide treats or favorite toys around the house for your dog to find. This low-energy game can be played from a seated position if needed.
Sensory Boxes: Create a small sensory box with different textures, such as crinkled paper, balls, cut-up pool noodles and hidden treats. Sensory exploration can be enriching and doesn’t require your active participation.
Keep Chews In Stock: Long-lasting chews can help your dog self-soothe and remain occupied without needing much supervision. My dogs and I like the Whimzee brand.
Cameras: Setting up cameras to check on your dog if they are in their crate or in another room, can help reduce anxiety about constantly checking on them. Many available give you the ability to speak to your dog over a phone app too.

Building a Support System for You and Your Dog

It’s important to remember that taking care of yourself benefits your dog, too. Here are a few ideas for building a support system that ensures both you and your dog are taken care of:

Enlist Help: During autistic burnout, having reliable help can make all the difference. Consider asking friends, family, or neighbors for assistance with walking, feeding, or simply spending time with your dog.
Set Boundaries for Rest and Recovery: Set boundaries with yourself and others to prioritize recovery time. Explain to loved ones that you may need extra support during these periods.
Join Online Communities: There are numerous online communities of autistic adults and dog owners who share tips and experiences. These groups can offer emotional support and practical advice.
Explore Professional Help: If you’re struggling with dog-related tasks, consider hiring a professional dog walker, pet sitter, dog trainer, or dog behavior consultant who can provide support during high-stress times. In situations where money is tight, boarding your dog for a few days might be the cheapest option and way to give yourself short breaks. This way your dog continues receiving care while you focus on your well-being.

As an autistic adult, I know how difficult it can be to let go of responsibilities, especially when you feel like you’re letting down a pet. But you must remember that autistic burnout is a legitimate health concern. Taking a break, modifying routines, or seeking support doesn’t mean you’re a “bad” dog owner, it means you’re taking steps to ensure you and your dog stay happy and healthy in the long term.

Burnout is not a personal failing, but rather a sign that you’ve been operating beyond your capacity. By embracing a flexible, gentle approach to dog care, you can focus on recharging and reconnecting with your dog at a sustainable pace.

Photo shows dog and person jumping for joy.

Need Support During Burnout?

Navigating dog ownership during autistic burnout can be challenging, but with the right strategies, it’s possible to provide loving care while prioritizing your own needs. Low-energy enrichment activities, a structured routine, and a supportive network are powerful tools that help create a balanced approach to dog care. Remember, even small moments of joy with your dog can have a profound impact on both of your well-being.

If you’re experiencing burnout and need support with dog training or behavior, consider reaching out. As a certified dog trainer, Dynamic Dog Practitioner, and adult-diagnosed autistic individual, I provide virtual behavior guidance calls worldwide and in-person sessions and classes in the Jackson, MS metro area. Together, we can create a plan that supports both your dog’s needs and your personal well-being. Let’s help you and your dog thrive!